Mama Mary Answers Your Questions!
Dear Mama Mary - Why do the guys that break up with me end up with these girls that, well, I'm better looking than them! And they're like a box of rocks, too. Why? A Still Unattached Daughter
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THURSDAY, JUNE 2, 2011 Dear Mama Mary - I'm finally moving out and my mother is letting me take cookware from my grandmother's old stuff. Mama Mary, what do I need besides pots and pans? A Newly Emancipated Daughter
Dear Daughter - Simple - you're intimidating them!  You're beautiful. And you're smart. Either one of those would intimidate a guy, but together? It takes a really special person to handle both. And knowing, you, Daughter, you're willing to correct ignorance, which deflates a male ego, especially an immature one. And you dress to impress when you go out, which attracts circles of admirers, which a guy views as instant competition. (The husband said something to me on this subject recently. He says a beautiful woman really does make a man think "I'm not worthy".   [I hear it in Wayne & Garth's voices.] He says it takes a lot of ego to think you could get, let alone keep, a beautiful woman. So that's the guy's side.) These guys realize that not only are you smarter (and more ambitious, courageous, popular, et c.) then him, you're likely to leave him because your beauty keeps an ever-refreshing pool of new guys around. The guy bails, and settles for a girl or woman that's "below" him, so he can get his ego propped back up. This poor female will probably adore him, but whatever. Not our problem. Your mission is to find a guy that's your equal, or who accepts that you're smarter and/or more attractive than he is, who accepts your intelligence and treasures your beauty, both inside and out. They are out there, but remember my 90% rule, which means they're outnumbered by assholes. Know this, and have fun looking! Love, Mama Mary
Dear Daughter - Congratulations on both the giant step towards being a responsible adult, but also on your cookware score! Here's my list of the bare bones of a well-equipped kitchen: a small, medium, and large saucepan, a stockpot or Dutch oven (or both), a small and a really oven-safe large frying pan, a slotted and a regular large spoon, a wooden spoon, spatulas for turning and for scraping, a set of tongs, a paring knife, a carving knife, a bread knife, a vegetable peeler, a vegetable brush, a basting brush, measuring cups and spoons and large Pyrex measuring cup. These tools are all you need to cook. For baking, also include a sifter, cookie sheets, muffin tins, 13x9 and 11x7 pans. It sounds like a lot, but it will all fit into 1 standard utility drawer and 1 cabinet. Love, Mama Mary
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2010 Dear Mama Mary - I met someone really cool at a party. We talked for a little, but I got dragged into Rock Band and he left before I could find out about him. Mama Mary, I can't get him out of my mind! What should I do? A Desperate Daughter
Dear Daughter - This one is easy, and you wouldn't have to ask me if you just thought a little. I know, I know, hormones make thinking difficult. OK, I'll help. Who threw the party? Ask them who he was. Someone knows him, someone brought him, right? Find out! Then cyber-stalk him - nothing illegal, nothing obsessive, just a quick Google and a check on Facebook, LinkedIn, and (shudder) MySpace, and you'll see if he's worth pursuing. I mean, anybody can look good for a couple of hours, especially if you really didn't talk to him. For all you know, he could be the lead singer of an ICP cover band and his day job is working at Auntie Annie's Pretzels in the mall. I won't blame you if you still think he's hot, but if you bring him over for dinner I reserve the right to ask him to demonstrate the pretzel dough stretching and shaping while engaging him in a discussion about Gloria Steinem. Love, Mama Mary
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2010 Dear Mama Mary - I have a problem. My roommate won't leave the living room. She sits on the couch watching Cartoon Network and eating crap that leaves crumbs all over, and the room is starting to smell like ass. I asked her to clean up after herself, and she did a little, but by the next week it was worse, because she spilled bong water on the carpet. Mama Mary, what should I do?
Dear Daughter - First, I have some questions for you. Do you have a lease, and if so, is she listed on it? If so, you can't just say "This isn't working out, find someplace else." You'll have to confront the problem. There's a world of difference between being a slacker in your downtime and having nothing but down time, but you can't fix other people, only the way you handle your interactions with them. Sit her down & hammer out House Rules. Your biggest complaint seems to be the smell rather than the Cartoon Network, so maybe work out cleaning duties. If the House Rules don't get followed, enforce consequences. If you can't do this, resign yourself to living out the rest of the lease unhappily and invest in Febreeze. Love, Mama Mary
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2010 Dear Mama Mary, I'm always afraid I'll look bad in new clothes. When I go shopping, my friends all tell me I look good, but then I see pictures someone took at the party and I look terrible! And fat! How can I tell if I really look fat in those pants? Love, a Dieting Daughter
Dear Daughter, Well, you could always take me along. I'll be honest. Barring that, you hit on one of the best ways to tell - pictures. Pictures never lie, or try to spare your feelings. Take your camera, and get pics of yourself in the mirror. Ask the shop clerk to hold the outfit, and go home and look at those pictures on your computer. You'll be able to tell if the outfit flatters you, or is just not right. Love, Mama Mary
Dear Mama Mary, One of my best friends is dating a real jerk. Ever since they hooked up, I don't see her anymore, and she doesn't even call. What can I do to get my friend back? Love, a Lonely Daughter
Dear Daughter, Just wait. She'll break up with the jerk and be back to visiting and calling in no time. (Unless she marries the jerk, but that's another question....) Love, Mama Mary
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